God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle?

"God won't give you more than you can handle." said the well meaning friend/acquaintance/coworker/f@cebook "friend"/great-aunt Millie...

But does He? Is that even a verse?

This phrase is thrown around a lot in Christian circles. So, where does it come from? And if God is so good, why is He doing this to me?

The actual verse reads, "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." (1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT)

The verses that surround this passage are actually talking about the temptation to sin and to conform to the world around you. So, what does this have to do with when bad things happen to you? 

Let me make something clear--God allows hard things in our lives to 

1.) Cause us to trust and lean on Him more,

"We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us." (2 Corinthians 1:8-10 NLT)

2.) Make us stronger and prepared for more later in life.

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." (James 1:2-4 NLT)

Do these verses sound like they are telling us that God won't give us more than we can handle?

No...but they do offer hope that when He does allow hard things to happen in our lives that He will be there. He is developing perseverance and maturity in us.

And when we flippantly say to someone who is hurting and feels like their whole world is crashing down around them, that "God won't give you more than you can handle."--they could in turn, blame God for doing it to them. They could say, "But this is MORE than I can handle...God, you're not holding up your end of the deal!" 

Wow...you wanted to make them feel better, right? Why not say, "God will give you the strength you need" (Philippians 4:13), or best of all, "What can I do for you?" 

For our family, the past year has been overwhelming at best and tragic at most. I can't tell you how often people have offered to help and I've said no. Pride. Or being overwhelmed. The "What can we do for you?" is met with a blank zombie-like stare. When things were the hardest, I did well to put one foot in front of the other. I couldn't think ahead to what we needed. So, from experience, jump in and do something. Insist on doing something specific. 

Listen. Offer a hug. Bring the grieving family a meal. Mow the single mom's yard *, offer free babysitting, and for goodness sakes--FOLLOW THROUGH.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. (Matthew 25:35-40)

*This in no way is a hint that I need my yard to be mowed. But if you want to help with something, I've learned to say yes. :)