Narcissism and Emotional Abuse

Sometimes you feel like he hung the moon, even though he treats you like dirt.

Somedays you want to run fast and far from the hurt that he causes--and then you reason, like so many other times, that you are just overthinking everything and it was probably your fault that xyz happened.

You wonder if you'll ever be free from the shackles he puts you in daily.

You keep replaying the tape, "I just need to be a better wife."

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" slips so easily from your lips when you're trying to make everything right (calm him down).



This is the reality I used to live in my previous marriage. If this is a reality for you, please reach out. YOU have worth. 

You are not who he makes you feel.

For Such a Time as This (A fiction series)

Essie walked quickly down the sidewalk to her aging apartment complex. Downtown Philadelphia wasn't always a friendly place for a single woman. The other people in her neighborhood were okay--she knew most of the residents in the surrounding buildings. She was thinking of some of them as she absent-mindedly punched the cracked floor button in the elevator. She unlocked her door, went in, and put some water on to boil for tea. While she waited for it to steep, she pushed her dogeared book aside and curled up on her couch. Work had completely drained her today. She had been solely responsible for restocking the shelves of the convenience store on the University campus. Well, that and helping every student who came in. Her boss refused to hire help for her shift during the school year. She sighed and walked across the room to retrieve her tea.

As she sat back down, she thought of her time with Mama Lou. She had stopped by her apartment on her way home, to drop off the half gallon of milk she knew Mama Lou needed, but was too hesitant to ask. Lou had moved from somewhere in the South a few years ago. She really was just like Essie imagined a mom to be.

"What you gone do wit' yo life, Esther?" Mama had drawled. 

"What do you mean, Mama Lou? I'm an adult. I have a job.", Esther replied, amused with how Momma Lou insisted on calling her by her full first name. 

"Oh, girl, there's nothin' wrong with yo job--but you should be sittin' in class with those kids, instead a jus' cooking they frozen burritos."

Essie sat back on the faded, flowered couch in Mama Lou's dim apartment, allowing the older woman's words to sink in. She had felt very blessed to find a job right out of high school. She had excelled at school--made honor roll even. But college? Her dad lived on the other side of the city, in Germantown. He was a mechanic and had never even suggested college while she was in high school. He hadn't discouraged her--it just hadn't been on the table. 

Essie looked up at Mama Lou as she slowly raised her aged body out of her recliner. "God has a good plan fo' you, girl. You know Jesus. You always good at treatin' people like Jesus would. I jus' know the Lord has somethin' big fo' you. Come to think of it, maybe you aughta read about yo' namesake."

Now, thinking back to that conversation, she reached for her much-loved Bible and turned the onion skin pages to the book of Esther. She had forgotten how chapter one began. King Xerxes had thrown a party to display his opulence. During the long party, he had called for his queen, named Vashti. She refused to come.

Essie wanted to read more, but the long day had gotten the best of her. She pushed everything aside and stretched out, succumbing to sleep.

To be continued...